i hate my birthday... and selfies

there I said it, as an annoyingly optimistic and constant goal-setting perfectionist I have a hard time with the idea of looking over your year and measuring your actual outcomes against your goals. i am harder on myself than anyone else and have very high expectations. when a birthday rolls around i hide, i get awkward because i don't want to be in the wrong place at the wrong time (i.e. near my mom and a restaurant that allows people to sing to birthday girls!) and i hate the attention. so... now it is almost two months after my birthday so this seems like a wonderful time to post this:)

very close to my 31st birthday i was having a hard time trying to accomplish all that my life needed me to. there were two little humans, one big human, one full-time business, one part-time business, family, friends, a house... nothing really that no one else had, but it was making me tired. i mean really tired. i felt lazy and i felt like i was not doing any of it well. my brain was foggy, my muscles were tired, i was so tired but could not sleep, i was more forgetful than usual, i couldn't lose weight and was out of control with my emotions. the first morning i made coffee for myself i felt very weird. i had never relied on anything to stay awake and, maybe it was the caffeine, it made me stop to think. i thought of how out of control it all seemed and how i could have not noticed that i was not okay. sometimes i internalize things so much and for so long that i truly believe they are the truth.

as with everything in my life, i spoke to my best friend about it. he (glenn) told me that i was not lazy and that i should in fact go to the doctor to get it checked out. when i went i was told that i needed go on anti-depressants and that we would have to start trying thyroid medications. i believe that medication has its role and have actually had to use it before, but i knew something else was wrong. i thanked the doctor for his time and told him i would not take his prescription. i then booked a very expensive consultation with a naturopath and headed off to see her. during the meeting with the naturopath i was told that my thyroid and adrenal health was devastating. i was given some supplements to try to kick start things and was told the only reason that i was even doing as well as i was was due to the fact that our family eats very well. with glenn's crohns disease we basically eat paleo. i began using the supplements and saw a huge difference in some symptoms such as skin dryness, sleeping at night and some ease in cravings. the only bad thing was my migraine activity went through the roof. i needed something different and started searching... and searching... finally i found what works for me. it is called thrive and it has changed my life. i haven't felt this good in a long time and it is starting to show. this is not a sales pitch, but it is something that is working for me and i would love to help you out if you feel it is right for you! here is a link that you can view the program on and please let me know if you have any other questions!


to keep this post somewhat light and casual... here are some other things that work for me

eyelash extensions - seriously changed my life and i feel weird saying that because i am NOT someone who spends much time on my makeup

in-home childcare - i have childcare come to my home one day a week and don't know how i would do what i do without this

paper planners and iPhone alarms - i have to have both. i remember things better if i have written them down but can't trust myself without an alarm

becoming - this event gives me such a boost and i don't think i can do my business without it. i love you ladies

mint.com - this financial tracker app is amazing and my husband and i love to see our accounts in real time... or sometimes hate to see them:(

chalkboards - i love these suckers

muck boots - honestly... i am not cool at all. most of my photography sessions include me wearing these. i am not the photographer that shoots in heels

j.crew - i have always and will always love their brand. it just works for me

online shopping and then leaving the cart - sometimes i need to shop online, fill a cart and then leave it. no buyers remorse and with the wonderful cookies i can usually find it if i indeed need the items

iPhone - this works for me. everything about apple products make me happy and... well... they are beautiful

topknot - i have no idea what i will do when this is not okay to wear in public

hippie chic - this fragrance has raspberry in it... sold!

Instagram - if you love pictures and hate drama then Instagram is for you... and me

target dollar items - my heart broke when target pulled from Canada. i guess i am back to bringing a spare suitcase to the states when we go

suave dry shampoo - only found in the states so i get my family to bootleg it back for me

soft lips - this is the best for chapped lips. my fav is the coconut one

joe - this clothing line for superstore is the best and reminds me of a cheaper j.crew

glenn - he is my opposite and is the best thing that ever happened to me. he is my biggest fan and my strongest defender. i love him and am grateful for him EVERYDAY

kraft peanut butter - we have tried it all and just keep going back to this one

clothing optional living - haaaaa!! i can see you all cringing... haaaaa!! but seriously... call before you stop by

diy laundry detergent and febreeze - when you have kids you will understand

power nap app - i am a horrible napper and can never make myself get up or when i do i am grumpy. this app is perfect to put you to sleep and wake you up in an 'unbear' like way

white - love it... am drawn to it... can't live without it

texting - my preferred way of communicating. possibly because i can use point form

ed sheeran, dolly parton, gary allan, jonny lang, ray lamontagne, taylor swift, pink and lora jol - they always make it better

self employment - i am grateful for my husband who works so i can stay home and also run my own business

fostering and adoption - works for us

forest green and gray - also love these... not in the same way as white, but they still deserved a mention

aviators - yup, tried other sunglasses and keep coming back to these

well, that may be everything that i can think of. these are some of the things that work for me. hope you enjoy!