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adoption

our story into foster care

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our story into foster care

May is National Foster Care month so in honor of that, I am doing my first annual 31 Day Challenge and the tag to use/follow will be #fosterchallenge2018

Our Story Into Foster Care

I had always wanted to adopt but also wasn’t sure if I wanted to be a mom. Glenn and I had been married a long time and had discussed trying to have kids but I was struggling with migraines, chronic knee pain and what I know now was hypothyroidism. We decided that we would try to adopt because we heard it would take a long time anyway and to be honest, that was comforting to us.

We went through the training, the home assessments and all the requirements to adopt through the Province of Alberta. We also went and started our application for international adoption, but when they closed Ukraine, we stopped and never stared again. During this time we met the most amazing Permanency worker who took her time with us, who explained everything and was able to speak so both Glenn and I were comfortable. We trusted her and we could tell she was someone who cared about us and finding a perfect match for us. We sat down with her to do one of hardest things we have ever had to do, a checklist of what you would be willing to take in a child and what you would not. This made me realize just how selfish we were and how we were attached to the idea of a perfect child. She guided us through and made some suggestions. We agreed on our requirements and she went on her way with the promise that we would wait a long time if we would ever get placed because our requirements were not anything that was coming through their system. We went on our way and were approved and waiting. During this time we made an agreement with God. I knew I could never say no. If a child was needing help I would do anything to help. So we have a pact. I will never say no, but I will trust when a door is closed. I will not hunt things down and make things happen (as I do in most other areas of my life) I will trust God and know His will is perfect and He will be in charge.

Very shortly during or after this we started doing respite for a little guy and his baby sister. We wanted to help a wonderful, generous and amazing woman from our church as she had taken these children on and everything that came with them. We very quickly fell in love with the kids. We would take them every chance we got and soon started asking our worker if we could ever parent them. We got our first NO. Looking back it was for the best, but I can’t tell you the pain that had. We had started to dream of them in our home, they had met our family, we had discussed cultural issues with trusted friends… we had jumped the gun and I was reminded of our pact with God that he would handle this. He loves His children and will look after them. That is not my job, I am just His hand and feet.

We continued to provide respite for the children we thought would live in our home until one day we got a call from our worker. It was not even a year into our waiting. She asked us if we would consider dropping some of our requirements. She particularly asked us to more to what was then the Foster to Adopt program instead of Adoption. She knew we were uncomfortable with the idea of taking a child in just to have them leave but she told us she knew the system and knew we would have a better chance at being placed. Glenn said no and I said yes. We decided to wait a few days. We discussed it and decided that because we trusted our worker and that God would only give us something that we could handle that we would switch our requirements. Again we went into wait mode. But not for long. Shortly after our worker called us with a circumstance that lead us to our son Porter. We had a bit of a rough start with him due to some ‘system’ stuff but were able to have his adoption completed within 9 months. Even with dealing with the Slave Lake wildfires and our workers home buring and also thinking our files were burned in the fire. We ended up moving to Sherwood Park at the time his final adoption was processed and very shortly were called to take his little sister. From this point on we have had many NO’s and a few more YES’. They have all been guided by God and I trust He will continue to guide our journey.

We are now foster parents and work very hard to reunite the children that are in our home to their families. Sometimes I wish that another YES was coming our way, but in the meantime I really am in love with providing love, compassion and help to our kids birth moms. My calling is to advocate for fostering/permanency/adoption and I would love to open some doors to you if you are wanting to know more. Message me for information about our next event:)

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birthday post

 

i hate my birthday... and selfies

there I said it, as an annoyingly optimistic and constant goal-setting perfectionist I have a hard time with the idea of looking over your year and measuring your actual outcomes against your goals. i am harder on myself than anyone else and have very high expectations. when a birthday rolls around i hide, i get awkward because i don't want to be in the wrong place at the wrong time (i.e. near my mom and a restaurant that allows people to sing to birthday girls!) and i hate the attention. so... now it is almost two months after my birthday so this seems like a wonderful time to post this:)

very close to my 31st birthday i was having a hard time trying to accomplish all that my life needed me to. there were two little humans, one big human, one full-time business, one part-time business, family, friends, a house... nothing really that no one else had, but it was making me tired. i mean really tired. i felt lazy and i felt like i was not doing any of it well. my brain was foggy, my muscles were tired, i was so tired but could not sleep, i was more forgetful than usual, i couldn't lose weight and was out of control with my emotions. the first morning i made coffee for myself i felt very weird. i had never relied on anything to stay awake and, maybe it was the caffeine, it made me stop to think. i thought of how out of control it all seemed and how i could have not noticed that i was not okay. sometimes i internalize things so much and for so long that i truly believe they are the truth.

as with everything in my life, i spoke to my best friend about it. he (glenn) told me that i was not lazy and that i should in fact go to the doctor to get it checked out. when i went i was told that i needed go on anti-depressants and that we would have to start trying thyroid medications. i believe that medication has its role and have actually had to use it before, but i knew something else was wrong. i thanked the doctor for his time and told him i would not take his prescription. i then booked a very expensive consultation with a naturopath and headed off to see her. during the meeting with the naturopath i was told that my thyroid and adrenal health was devastating. i was given some supplements to try to kick start things and was told the only reason that i was even doing as well as i was was due to the fact that our family eats very well. with glenn's crohns disease we basically eat paleo. i began using the supplements and saw a huge difference in some symptoms such as skin dryness, sleeping at night and some ease in cravings. the only bad thing was my migraine activity went through the roof. i needed something different and started searching... and searching... finally i found what works for me. it is called thrive and it has changed my life. i haven't felt this good in a long time and it is starting to show. this is not a sales pitch, but it is something that is working for me and i would love to help you out if you feel it is right for you! here is a link that you can view the program on and please let me know if you have any other questions!

http://chelsdawn.le-vel.com/

to keep this post somewhat light and casual... here are some other things that work for me

eyelash extensions - seriously changed my life and i feel weird saying that because i am NOT someone who spends much time on my makeup

in-home childcare - i have childcare come to my home one day a week and don't know how i would do what i do without this

paper planners and iPhone alarms - i have to have both. i remember things better if i have written them down but can't trust myself without an alarm

becoming - this event gives me such a boost and i don't think i can do my business without it. i love you ladies

mint.com - this financial tracker app is amazing and my husband and i love to see our accounts in real time... or sometimes hate to see them:(

chalkboards - i love these suckers

muck boots - honestly... i am not cool at all. most of my photography sessions include me wearing these. i am not the photographer that shoots in heels

j.crew - i have always and will always love their brand. it just works for me

online shopping and then leaving the cart - sometimes i need to shop online, fill a cart and then leave it. no buyers remorse and with the wonderful cookies i can usually find it if i indeed need the items

iPhone - this works for me. everything about apple products make me happy and... well... they are beautiful

topknot - i have no idea what i will do when this is not okay to wear in public

hippie chic - this fragrance has raspberry in it... sold!

Instagram - if you love pictures and hate drama then Instagram is for you... and me

target dollar items - my heart broke when target pulled from Canada. i guess i am back to bringing a spare suitcase to the states when we go

suave dry shampoo - only found in the states so i get my family to bootleg it back for me

soft lips - this is the best for chapped lips. my fav is the coconut one

joe - this clothing line for superstore is the best and reminds me of a cheaper j.crew

glenn - he is my opposite and is the best thing that ever happened to me. he is my biggest fan and my strongest defender. i love him and am grateful for him EVERYDAY

kraft peanut butter - we have tried it all and just keep going back to this one

clothing optional living - haaaaa!! i can see you all cringing... haaaaa!! but seriously... call before you stop by

diy laundry detergent and febreeze - when you have kids you will understand

power nap app - i am a horrible napper and can never make myself get up or when i do i am grumpy. this app is perfect to put you to sleep and wake you up in an 'unbear' like way

white - love it... am drawn to it... can't live without it

texting - my preferred way of communicating. possibly because i can use point form

ed sheeran, dolly parton, gary allan, jonny lang, ray lamontagne, taylor swift, pink and lora jol - they always make it better

self employment - i am grateful for my husband who works so i can stay home and also run my own business

fostering and adoption - works for us

forest green and gray - also love these... not in the same way as white, but they still deserved a mention

aviators - yup, tried other sunglasses and keep coming back to these

well, that may be everything that i can think of. these are some of the things that work for me. hope you enjoy!

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